Feeling Battle-Scarred and Victorious!

The (very macho) screams you just heard came from me after half a bottle of hairspray didn’t kill this sucker that was chilling on my ceiling. (I wasn’t about to walk under it to get to my kitchen where I keep the bug spray.) I had to roll up a magazine and go Rambo on…

I Am Bridget Jones

I am Bridget Jones (say that with an Ozzy accent.  Cool right?) Actually, I’m Bridget Jones without the Darcy-attachment. I’d rather be Geraldine Granger with the Armitage-attachment, but I’ll save that for another day. I think that every single girl has that dread, that image of choking on a fishbone while you eat alone and all your neighbors are…

One Good Citizen to Another

I am so grateful to live in an area where its citizens are so sensitive to the well-being of others! For example, the other day, someone set off dynamite at twenty minute intervals beginning at 11:00pm. How considerate of them to wait until most children were in bed, we wouldn’t want anyone’s sleep disrupted by…

Embarrassing

I was feeling pretty good this morning, I was looking good too! This was reinforced by all the attention I received while I was trying to pay for gas. It wasn’t until I went inside to discover that the pump was out of order (somehow I missed the giant bright orange bag that read “out…

Together

Last night, I fell asleep holding Finn like I was a pioneer woman clutching my baby to my chest as we struggle through a snowstorm. We woke up this morning like an old married couple: me hanging onto the very edge of the bed while he stretched out across the whole damn thing, his feet…

Can’t stay angry when there’s bacon!

OH MY GAWD! I want a large enough apartment that the smoke detector doesn’t go off every time I DON’T BURN THE BACON!!! 😤 P.S. Expletives deleted because – though I am PISSED!! – I realize this is a 1st world problem) 😔 P.P.S. It doesn’t help that the detector’s screeching terrifies my pup. 😣 P.P.P.S. My…

Dear Universe

In response to the Daily Post Prompt: Apology Dear Universe, I am deeply regretful for offending you. Clearly, my sins have been egregious, though I have no idea what I did. Please accept my sincerest apologies and assurance that I will live a better life. Thank you for considering lifting your curse, this household is…

An Ode to Clean Carpet

Dear Carpet, I’m not sure what kinds of horrible things you did in a past life, but they must’ve been truly unforgivable. Otherwise, how do you explain all this? Bored Finn chewing, tearing and ripping you apart for the last 2 years. Finn’s piss-everywhere-because-I-didn’t-realize-he-had-an-UTI last Christmas. Finn’s projectile diarrhea as a result of a catching…

Did you miss me? I’m baaaaack!

I can’t say I’m sorry for letting the blog lapse into silence for a month, I’ve been quite busy with life (and reading, of course)! What I will say is that the hiatus was completely unplanned. Let me ‘splain… No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Right after the New Year, I quit my…

Fragile

In response to The Daily Post’s Daily Prompt, “Fragile.”

Something wicked this way comes

I am now over halfway done with Macbeth and was pleased to recognize these lines: As an ardent Harry Potter fan, I was tickled to hear many of these lines in the movie version of The Prisoner of Azkaban: I cannot wait to get to this section with my class next semester so I can show them this Harry…