You’re 40 Times More Likely To Die From A Colonoscopy

About a month ago, I scheduled a colonoscopy. A month before that, my doctor recommended I get one as well as an esophagogastroduodenoscopy.

Ah, the joys of getting old.

Since I had the initial conversation with my doctor, I’ve been bombarded with random statistics about colonoscopies, usually warning against the possibility of a fatality.

Usually from a friend recalling the “chat” with her doctor before the procedure.

Usually from a sitcom about a cutsie 40-something who’s been putting off preventative procedures like mammograms.

Usually from some random pro-abortion ads that are leaking through to the mainstream media (my post title inspired from here, another from Last Week Tonight with John Oliver).

(Worst way to die line approximately 6:20)

It gave me a chuckle, to be sure, but also added to my anxiety (not about being dragged behind my mom’s car).

Last week, I had a panic attack because I thought, what if I die during the colonoscopy?! I haven’t planned out 4th quarter for my classes!

Then I thought, I’ll be dead. I won’t care about lesson plans. Then I got mad at the hypothetical people who might be mad that I didn’t leave lesson plans and so promised that I’d definitely come back to haunt their insensitive asses for not being more upset at my death!

All in all, a pretty healthy way to prepare for the esophagogastroduodenoscopy and colonoscopy. 😀


2 Comments Add yours

  1. clcouch123 says:

    Well, I think the esophagogo- thing was made up, perhaps to make the colonoscopy sound less threatening. And I think you should find mortal ways to haunt those who care more about plans than people. Mostly, I send my hope (anew) that all will happen well. By the time mine was over, I was pretty impressed by how it was done. I had a conversation with the anesthesiologist beforehand (I think because we’re supposed to), and at some time in the procedure I was told I’d be unconscious for the next twenty minutes. And it was so. Twenty minutes–how can they count that so right? Anyway, even with some growths removed (I was given before-and-after photos–yay), everything went pretty smoothly. I trust it takes place that way for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Call me Cordelia says:

      Thank you, yes, it did go “well.” My colon is fine, it’s my esophagus that needs help. I have a follow up appt in a few weeks. 🙂


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