I accepted the challenge yesterday (details here). For my second quote, I chose a longer one from my second favorite play:
Jack: How can you sit there, calmly eating muffins when we are in this horrible trouble, I can’t make out. You seem to me to be perfectly heartless.
Algernon: Well, I can’t eat muffins in an agitated manner. The butter would probably get on my cuffs. One should always eat muffins quite calmly. It is the only way to eat them.
Jack: I say it’s perfectly heartless your eating muffins at all, under the circumstances.
Algernon: When I am in trouble, eating is the only thing that consoles me. Indeed, when I am in really great trouble, as any one who knows me intimately will tell you, I refuse everything except food and drink. At the present moment I am eating muffins because I am unhappy. Besides, I am particularly fond of muffins. [Rising]
Jack: [Rising] Well, that is no reason why you should eat them all in that greedy way. [Takes muffins from Algernon.]
Algernon: [Offering tea-cake] I wish you would have tea-cake instead. I don’t like tea-cake.
From Act II of Oscar Wilde’s “The Importance of Being Earnest”
I don’t know about you, but I, too, cannot eat muffins in an agitated manner! Wilde’s astute observation of the delicate digestive system is, of course, the reason I love this play.
Actually, I could’ve quoted the entirety of this classic satire, I love it that much! The witty dialogue, the biting analysis of Victorian society (that is surprisingly similar to today, hmmm…), and the marvelous characters. Having watched the 2002 movie version before I read it, it is impossible not to laugh while I picture Colin Firth and Rupert Everett getting agitated over muffins.